Once upon a time, there was an old Egyptian man called Tutankamun. He was going to his brother's house. He started walking through his piramids, into the desert and into the deep dark woods on his way he met a rattle snake which hissed ''I'll swallow your head up'', he said ''what will you get but Tutankamun bones'' I'm going to my brother's house and there I will get as fat as 20 pigs ''I'm waiting for you then'' said the snake and he went on and on going to his brother's house. As he went there was a little amount of spikes, there popped up the hedgehog of terror as he calls it in his language. He grouted I'll spike you up old man'' he whispered in a frightened voice ''what will you get but tutan bones '' I'm going to my brothers house and there I'll get fat as 40 pigs '' I'm waiting for you then '' and he went on and on to his brothers house. He just had a few steps to his brothers house and there he saw a big, tall bridge and on the side he spotted an angry monster waiting for someone to take him down. There the monster spotted Tutankamun and grouted ''I'll take you down'' then tutankamun actually saw a tremendous amount of fire in the middle of the bridge so he had an idea. He told the monster if you lay on that bridge and let me cross on your back so I don't fall in the fire then I will let you have my head after I go to my brothers house and get as fat as 60 pigs. ''Ok said the monster I'm waiting for you'' so he went on and there was his brothers house he went in and said I'm really hungry he ate all that was in the kitchen and he was going to burst. He told his brother I'm worried about those creepy creatures. His brother had an idea he told him I'll put you in a mummy case and slide you down the street and they'll never notice that your there. So he did what he said and there was tutankamun sliding in a mummy case down the street the monster saw the mummy case in his way so he pushed it away and ran after it. The second animal saw the mummy case and thank '' what a strange mummy case'' he pushed it away and ran after it. Then the rattle snake came on and saw the strange mummy case and slapped it with his tail and flipped it open. They all surrounded him and began to shout at each other ''I'll have his head''. He interrupted saying ''the strongest of you will have my head''. The snake bit the monster's tail and the hedgehog of terror spiked the snake and the old Tutankamun ran home safely. by Omar
You have written to a good length and made it interesting for the reader Omar. Great work.
ReplyDelete* Remember when someone is speaking you need to start with a 66 and 99 to close speech throughout.
Mr Al-Barwani